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Move Over, Clint Smith: It’s “Tactical Joe” Biden

by Robert W. Hunnicutt   |  January 25th, 2013 3

You may have known our current Vice President as a longtime Delaware senator, occasional plagiarist and full-time fountain of malapropisms, but did you know he’s also a tactical firearms expert?

Neither did I.

Biden was appearing on an online forum on gun control when he advised viewers that in case of civil unrest, you are really much better off with a (double-barreled) shotgun than with an assault rifle.

Who knew? If only Tactical Joe had been around in the 1930s, we could have saved all that money spent developing the M1 Garand and had the boys hit the beach at Iwo Jima with Rev-O-Nocs and White Powder Wonders!

I find it harder to get mad at Biden than at his boss. Biden’s at least a recognizable American type: the snake-oil salesman. The buncombe peddler has been represented by many beloved figures in the arts: Ali Hakim in Oklahoma or Prof. Harold Hill in The Music Man for two Broadway examples. Like those classic film-flam men, Biden operates on the theory that no proposition is too preposterous if delivered with a booming voice and a big grin. He knows what he’s saying is baloney, and he knows you know. But say it loud, say it proud and maybe it’ll work.

It’s all hogwash, but I prefer it to the pinched, professorial mien of his boss, who has a more arrogant, Frenchified approach. Obama says, “I don’t care enough about you even to try to fill you full of BS.” Biden at least cares enough to try.

Biden also conforms to the longtime tradition, dating back to LBJ or McGovern, of proudly touting shotgun ownership. Saying you own a shotgun says “I’m no Frenchified professor type who doesn’t even own a gun, but I’ve got too much dignity to own a pistol or assault weapon.” New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was rocking that one a couple weeks ago while reducing New Yorkers to seven-round magazines.

More to the point, Biden’s tactical advice confirms what I’ve said for many years: anti-gun politicians are comfortable, at least for the moment, with you owning any firearm used in an Elmer Fudd cartoon.

  • Heretic

    While a double barrel shotgun is excellent for birding, I would prefer something with a few more rounds when being attacked by a large group of looters. Biden is a total moron, and an embarrassment to America.

  • Starky

    Joe Biden = Dumb Ass

  • Edmund Ruffin

    Try to see the genius in this… Obama's genius. Dave Chappell beat him to the rationale on it, but it's nonetheless effective. Gonna PO everybody? Make sure your successor is a complete moron, free and clear of doubt…you'll be 100% safe…. Which makes me wonder how good 'ol John Hinckley feels now that his motivator has come out….Oh, for the days when crazy was named "Squeaky," and all there was to fear was the return of disco….

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