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Bloomberg: “I Have Earned My Place In Heaven”

by Robert W. Hunnicutt   |  April 16th, 2014 31

Former New York mayor and billionaire bully Michael Bloomberg told the New York Times he expects to breeze past the velvet ropes at the Pearly Gates:

“I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close.”

As it’s probably been many years since the Big Gulp-hating plutocrat had to wait in line for anything, it’s probably inevitable he would think he can give old St. Peter a wave and bypass the take-a-number machine at the entrance door of the afterlife.

The moneybags mayor’s detour into eschatology accompanied his announcement that he is putting up $50 million to promote gun control. The Times reported that Bloomberg plans to plow his millions into building up field operations to combat the NRA.

“They say, ‘We don’t care. We’re going to go after you,'” he said of the N.R.A. “If you don’t vote with us we’re going to go after your kids and your grandkids and your great-grandkids. And we’re never going to stop.”

He added: “We’ve got to make them afraid of us.”

I think we all knew this day would come once Bloomberg relinquished his dictatorship over the nation’s largest city. A billionaire with time on his hands can get into a lot of mischief. The Times reported that Bloomberg seemed blissfully unaware that his megabucks and crusades against soft drinks and fried chicken could backfire on him in many precincts of the country outside Gotham:

“I don’t know what your perception is of our reputation, and mine, the name Bloomberg around the country,” he said. But every place he goes, he added, “You’re a rock star. People yelling out of cabs, ‘Hey, way to go!'”

Well, the NRA Annual Meetings are in Indianapolis next week; maybe he should stop by and see how many attaboys he gets there. I’m no theologian, but Bloomberg’s estimate of his chances for eternal bliss reminds me of these two pertinent verses:

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7)

Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. (Matthew 19:24)

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