The Best Guide to Shoulder Holsters for Dummies

Affiliate Disclosure: This page contains affiliate links. We earn from qualifying purchases.

007 moved purposefully across the crowded ballroom. His date was a Romanian countess named Elisabeta. Elisabeta could have earned a Maxim cover without flexing her familial connections. Her dress was minimalist in the extreme and, to the casual observer, seemed to be painted on. As a result, there were no casual observers. That was all by design. Bond needed everyone in the crowd studying her magnificent topography rather than paying attention to him. This particular evening, he was going to kill a man.

His mark was Aleksandar Jovanović. Those who knew him called Jovanović, “The Beast,” and for good reason. Aleksandar Jovanović was indeed a proper monster. Jovanović was a Serb. He had spilt a river of blood in the course of the sundry internecine squabbles that defined his unfortunate country. However, he had then taken his finely-honed skills on the road. Eventually, he terminated the wrong lunatic and earned the attention of Whitehall. The Prime Minister produced a secure tasker that trickled down to Special Branch and the double O’s. Now James Bond leaned against a bar in this opulent place with what was arguably the most beautiful woman in Europe on his arm.

Bond passed Elisabeta off to a tall man in an Arab keffiyeh and excused himself to the washroom. Once he was alone, 007 reached underneath his fitted Brioni dinner jacket and retrieved his Walther PPK from its custom chamois shoulder holster. Fishing his SilencerCo Spectre sound suppressor out of his pocket, he quickly threaded it in place on the stubby gun’s muzzle. Retrieving a washcloth from beside the sink, he carefully draped the gun so as to make it seem innocuous. Satisfied that all was in order, Bond pulled the camouflaged pistol in close to his belly and pushed his way back out into the corridor.

Jovanović was in his office with his mistress. Bond wasn’t sure how MI6 knew that, but he took it on faith. Now feigning a modest buzz, 007 staggered around the corner and came face to face with the enormous ex-Spetsnaz operator who had sworn on his own life to keep the Serbian psychopath safe. Bond gave a disarming inebriated laugh and slapped the henchman on the arm with his left hand. His massive bicep felt like carved marble.

Before the hulking bodyguard could object, 007 pivoted and drove the suppressed handgun underneath his chin. He triggered two rounds in quick succession and lowered the cooling corpse quietly to the floor. Bond’s lizard brain told him that he had been generously splattered with the dying man’s blood, but he lacked the discretionary time to care. Glancing up and down the hall to ensure he was still alone, the MI6 assassin turned the handle with his weak hand and pushed through the door.

Both Jovanović and his girlfriend were comparably surprised. 007 paid little attention to whatever it was they were doing. He reflexively shot the hairy terrorist mastermind twice in the forehead and threw the half-naked, terrified woman to the floor, placing his hand over her mouth before she could scream. In moments, he had secured her hands and feet with zip ties and shoved one of Jovanović’s sweaty socks into her mouth. Retrieving his Microtech switchblade he ringed the base of Jovanović’s thumb and snapped the bone with a sickening crack. 

Standing back up, Bond removed his warm sound suppressor, replaced the pistol in its shoulder holster, and slipped the dead man’s thumb into his pocket. Taking one last look around, he made a cursory effort to rub the blood off of his face with the hand towel, straightened his jacket, and climbed out through the window. 

If he was lucky, which he invariably was, he should make London by first light. Perhaps Moneypenny would meet him someplace nice for breakfast. He abandoned Elisabeta to her own devices. That woman was a natural survivor. She would get it sorted.

Meanwhile, Back in the Real World…

To boldly plagiarize Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, The Last Jedi: Every word of what you just read was wrong. James Bond is not a real guy. Ian Fleming dreamt him up out of whole cloth based upon the experiences he had as a spymaster himself during World War 2. Out here in the real world, people never die that quickly, it’s lyrically difficult to escape a secure facility once everybody gets energized, and any woman that beautiful is reliably road lizard crazy. Additionally, it is all but impossible to hide a decent defensive handgun in a shoulder holster underneath form-fitting clothing.

I have carried a gun whenever I wasn’t asleep or in the shower for more than three decades now. I have tried everything. I have successfully concealed a 4-inch Smith Model 66 .357 Magnum underneath an untucked flannel shirt in restaurants across Alaska and have been armed countless times in church and at sporting events without anyone being the wiser. I have carried on my ankle, over my hip, and above my appendix. I have also sampled a shoulder holster or three. What follows is simply my experience. You might have drawn different conclusions, but these are mine.

In the Beginning…

I bought my first handgun, an Italian Colt 1951 Navy revolver in kit form, at age 13. I rode my bike to Otasco and purchased the thing without my parents’ knowledge for fifty bucks using the proceeds of an entire summer’s toil behind a lawnmower in the Mississippi heat. I surreptitiously finished it out in my Dad’s workshop.

Fret not, Mom and Dad were cool about it. It was a different time. However, once I got the gun in shooting shape, I needed a way to carry it. You couldn’t just walk into Magic Mart (a real thing back then) and pick up a custom carry rig for a century-old cap-and-ball revolver. As a result, the next time I found myself in an Army surplus store, I just picked up a vintage leather GI M3 holster.

The M3 was a simplistic rig designed to carry the venerable M1911 pistol. However, so long as you weren’t too committed to the security strap, it also packed that .44-caliber black powder revolver just fine as well. That gun in that holster kept me company for untold hours of traipsing through the Mississippi Delta swamps. I loaded the pistol with shot loads improvised out of BBs and used it to dispatch more than a few water moccasins along the way. That old M3 shoulder holster was comfortable, secure, and effective. However, it was not the least bit concealable.

Coming of Age

My first serious concealed carry handgun was a stainless Walther PPK/S in .380. That pistol was heavier than today’s tiny packable 9mm wonderguns, and it fired a more anemic cartridge. However, it was what James Bond carried and, in my mind at least, made me look freaking awesome. I packed that gun in one of several different belt rigs over the years. I also scored a superlative Galco minimalist shoulder holster. I still use that rig on occasion even today when I might covet a quick testosterone boost.

The PPK/S is indeed a relatively small weapon, and my Galco shoulder holster is superbly well-designed. However, unless you are wearing a bulky shirt underneath a comparably bulky jacket, there is a better than fair possibility that the little old lady standing behind you in the checkout line at Kroger is going to know you’re packing heat. It’s hot down here in the Deep South. We typically wear as few clothes as possible. 

I’ve gotten quite competent at hiding a proper pistol in a belt holster underneath shorts and a t-shirt. That really is tough to do with a shoulder rig. However, that doesn’t mean it cannot or should not be done.

Details

Everything in the world of concealed carry represents a compromise. Any gun you actually have on you trump’s anything better that you left locked up in the gun box back home. Critically, you need to pick a gun you can actually carry. To pull that off, you need to be comfortable.

You can theoretically conceal a full-size Desert Eagle underneath normal clothing, but you will be utterly miserable doing it. Lord help you if you have to sit in a car or loiter in a crowded waiting room someplace with such a beast stuffed down your pants. No matter how you arrange it, a gun carried inside the waistband is going to be uncomfortable to sit on. A properly-fitted shoulder holster is much less onerous.

Shoulder rigs will pack your pistol either vertically or horizontally. Each geometry has its merits. However, this is a space-occupying accessory. Even if your gun isn’t riding uncomfortably up into your armpit, it is going to pooch out against your shirt. All that gets harder if you’re short. 

Additionally, whenever you lean over, your shirt will sag open, your gun will ride forward, or both. All of this increases the probability that your concealed sidearm will become overtly visible. I love packing heat, but I don’t like trying to explain it in the Walmart parking lot to the hysterical Karen with the Handgun Control Inc bumper sticker on the back of her late-model electric Prius.

Shoulder Holster Applications

There are certain situations wherein a shoulder rig is almost a necessity. This is the ideal way to pack a serious weapon while out in the wilderness in a permissive space where nobody cares if you are carrying a gun. If you need a .44 magnum hand howitzer while out fishing in bear country, nothing is better for both ease of access and personal comfort. However, there’ll be no hiding that.

My wife and I take a walk together every day the weather is nice. I have a simply fantastic chest rig from Gunfighter’s Inc that will pack a Glock 17 or its analog in such a way as to keep the gun handy without being uncomfortable. That wide straps on the harness does not chafe or rub unduly, so I can give my undivided attention to the important things in my life.

Similarly, if I’m on a long car trip and it is not practical to remove and replace my sidearm, slipping into my trusty Galco shoulder rig makes the hours go by much more peacefully. It is a fairly simple thing, at least in cold weather, to throw on a bulky jacket before you hit the Shop-N-Grab for some M and M’s and a Coke.

Ruminations

Every serious concealed carrier should at least sample a shoulder holster. It really is the most comfortable way to pack a handgun. As with anything gun-related, that predicates a certain baseline amount of practice to ensure that you can retrieve your pistol quickly and safely. However, the very experience hearkens back to an earlier, simpler time.

Just like any proper red-blooded American male, I wish I could hide a Dornaus and Dixon Bren Ten comfortably underneath a flimsy coral-colored sports jacket like the inimitable Sonny Crockett in Miami Vice. In fact, I’d settle for just owning a Dornaus and Dixon Bren Ten. However, like James Bond, I have it on reliable information that Sonny Crockett was not an actual real guy. Successfully concealing such a beast of a weapon is easier said than done.

I use my chest holster from Gunfighters Inc all the time, and I still break out my Galco 007 rig when the circumstances are right and I feel the need to be extra awesome. However, for day-to-day concealed carry use I’ll stick with my basic IWB hip setup. Your mileage may vary, but it seems I’m just not James Bond material.

 Gunfighters Inc makes a superlative line of chest carriers for a wide variety of service guns. I use mine all the time.

---